The Dry Vac vs. The Chicken

So it is another week, and Bob is out of town for the evening. I always tend to challenge myself while he is away. Even when we did not have Izzy busy, I remember him going out of town and he would come home to a new bedroom arrangement or a new living room arrangement (all of the furniture would be completely moved around before he came home), the cabinets freshly varnished, a glass explosion in the oven from a non pyrex, the dog clipped unbelievably short - you name it, I rock it. I always pull something out of my sleeve. I guess you do these things to occupy the mind while you miss your significant other. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I can remember Betty Jean telling me stories about the things she used to do while Gus was out of town. They come home and go WHAT the...well you know what goes after that. Today's adventure was putting together a SHOP VAC by myself and cutting up a WHOLE chicken for the first time. I ordered a SHOP VAC for my five year anniversary at my company. While most people order a pin or a piece of jewelry, I order a vacuum cleaner. If you know me at all - I do not need to explain any further. I thoroughly enjoy wash machines, lawn mowers and vacuum cleaners : ) and a lemon zest or! So I come home, and rip the box open with the vac. There are a zillion pieces. While I think it is just going to be a PLUG AND PLAY - it is not that simple. There are screws - bolts, filters, accessories - HELLO - I have no clue where the screwdrivers are in this place! So I take an adventure and find the "DEWALT." Rats, I don't know how to use it and there is the wrong piece attached at the end. In one minute, I teach myself how to use it, switch the end and do it up - Izzy helped me - although she was a little scared of it. Next on the list is this CHICKEN. I went to crate and barrel today and they did not have the kitchen shears in stock. Rats! The lady told me to just use my knife and scissors. NOT! While I was there, I opened up the JOY OF COOKING cookbook to see what recipes they had and I opened it to the page on HOW TO CUT UP A WHOLE CHICKEN. If that is not a SIGN, I don't know what is - I need to learn how. While asking at least 15 people at work today - only 2 know how to cut up a whole chicken. REALLY??!! Most people just have th butcher chop it up. I think I will take advantage of that invitation to a personal lesson from my mom and dad because my mom is right - if I attempt it on my own, I will lose a hand!And, I really want to learn how!!